I consider myself a very patient individual. I got three kids, and they know how to test your patience. I’ve been in pain lately. I have chronic back pain. So I went to my doctor to get checked out. He had me do an x-ray of my back and then an ultrasound of my kidneys. Sounds weird huh? I complain of back pain, and it must be my kidneys. How weird is that? After doing those tests I still have a MRI to do coming up tomorrow. He says to me that he can’t prescribe any medication until he gets the results back from these tests.
The worse part is the wait. The radiologist has to look and interpret the test. The he sends the report to my doctor, who then decides what treatment is necessary. And while all this is happening, I’m here at my house waiting. And waiting. In pain. And while I am sitting here in pain, my mind is creating these weird diseases that I might have. What mutations could be growing in my spine? People like me, with my imagination and medical knowledge, shouldn’t be kept waiting. I’ve come up with about thirty diseases that I could possibly have. What the hell is taking so long? Why can’t I get a damn phone call letting me know that I’m not horribly disfigured? Or that I don’t have a Costa Rican larvae living in my spinal fluid!
So today a letter arrived in the mail from my doctor. I just knew it was going to say that I needed to have a surgery to remove my spine and swap it out for a new. ( Yes, I know that’s not possible, but with the new tech we got now in the medical field, anything is possible.) I took a deep breath before I opened the letter. I carefully read it. And then I read it again. What?? I found out that there was nothing wrong with my back. The x-ray was normal. In fact, the radiologist said that my spine was “unremarkable”. Kind of makes me feel like my spine isn’t special. “Unremarkable” makes it seems as if my spine actually bored the radiologist to death as he looked at it. Damn. I’m happy that I don’t’ have spine degeneration T-virus infection, but I think if I was the radiologist, I would have jazzed up the report better. I would have said that the spine was “comfortably resting in the back of an African goddess and that the spine was the best looking spine I’d ever seen”. But then again that’s just me.
For now, I’m satisfied with the results of the x-ray. But I still got to wait for the results of the ultrasound of the kidneys and the MRI. It’s just something else for me to obsess over. As I wait for those results, I’m already thinking about what type of mutant x virus could be festering in my kidneys. I’ve even checked to see if I had scars from being secretly operated on and had my kidneys stolen to be sold on the black market. Nah, that can’t be it. The Ultrasound Tech would have jumped up and notified her supervisor if she couldn’t located my kidneys. Oh, well. I guess I will just have to wait to see what the doctor says about my kidneys. I will keep you posted!
Love Always.
