I’ve watched countless horror and thriller movies in my lifetime. Very few scare me now. Most of them I find quite funny. One thing always rings true. Those wonderful cliches that every scary movie has to have. Some are necessary for the plot, but most of them make the scene or the movie cheesier than a hot pizza. I’ve decided to list a few of them. Maybe you can use the list to stay alive during a horror movie moment. Or maybe you can use the list to see which ones appear in the movie that you are watching. It’s in no particular order. I just wrote them as my brain vomited them or in the order that my friends sent them.
1. Cars never start at critical times. Even though you’ve been driving it several times.
2. The dumb girl will always drop the best weapon to pick up the worse, useless weapon.
3. The girl that falls, even though there is nothing in her way.
4. The library will always have that one book you need with all the info about the demon.
5. There will always be that old person who knows the legend or the secret to defeat the person/monster.
6. The teens that do the most screwing or drugs will surely die.
7. I’ll be right back,” will be the last thing you say.
8. The killer will always rise up for one last scare, yet they always manage to get closer to check if he’s dead.
9. There’s always that one person who wants to investigate that abandoned building or that noise in the dark woods.
10. The gun will always run out of bullets when you need only one more bullet to end the life of the killer/monster.
11. When a couple is killed, the boyfriend will always die first.
12. Sluts never survive.
13. Never split up!!! The person that suggests this always dies. (And should die!)
14. Run towards the exits not farther away from them
15. Serial killers never run, yet they manage to catch the people who have been running the whole time they’ve been trying to escape.
16. No matter who your service carrier is, it will never work.
17. The police will show up out of nowhere, but will always arrive too late.
18. The bad guy will always tell you his whole entire plan. No need for you to play detective.
19. The moment someone discovers the killer’s identity, he/she will surely die before you get to tell anyone.
20. The creepy English kid is always evil!
Thanks guys for your submissions! It was fun going through the mail. LOL Now that you are armed with the cliches, maybe you should put them together and make your own horror movie!
Love always.
